Today I've been drawn to talk about creating change. By this I really mean positive change. We find ourselves in grief due to change, this is clear and will be from a life changing and altering event. But one of the points that has arised time and again for me since my loss has been, "Am I my circumstances?" "Am I this loss? A widow, a single parent, a mother and no longer a wife?" We are very quick to label ourselves in a way that can help us build a protective story around us. I definitely experienced this last year when I was desperately searching for a new family home after our landlord sold the house we were living in. I laid down the widow card straight away with every estate agent I came into contact with. It was my buffer and comfort blanket, I had this as a way of explaining why I was alone with three children and hadn't worked for a while. Justifying my situation. Which as I look back now is very strange for me, as a general rule I'm not really that bothered by the opinions of others about me. But this was a complete button pusher due to the pressure of providing a safe home for my children.
I guess where I'm going with this is, as we begin to connect with our hearts and nature we can begin to break down the stories that we use to protect us. We can discover what now lies ahead in the new version of our lives and give gratitude to those stories for the protection that they gave us when we needed them most, when we were vulnerable, scared and in pain. There's no judgement here, we are all exactly where we should be. As a friend once told me, "Everything is perfectly perfect."
This is a journey, the roads are far from straight, some signposts will probably be missing and half the time the map is upside down.